StalkerForADay:LyleMeetsLindsayLohan...AtHer House?

Alright, let me just say this before we begin...

Hi, my names Lyle, and I'm a complete stalker.

Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery...

Alright, alright, all kidding aside, here's how shit went down.

So today, my good friend Leanne and I decided to go to Venice for breakfast, which I ended up not partaking in because the chef would not put cheese in the eggs.

I know right, who does that shit?

Regardless, afterwards we decided to walk around Abbot Kinney Boulevard , which for those of you not familiar with Los Angeles, is a street in Venice with a bunch of cool, low-key stores, restaurants, and bars.

Now, my friend can really shop and I quickly grew tired of it.  It was then that I had a genius idea, gifted from the gods themselves, enter my cranium.  

Lindsay Lohan lives in Venice.  Score.

So I left Leisel to do her shopping, and decided to walk by Casa de Crazy, just to see if I could catch a glimpse of her, because as you all know, I have a soft spot in  my aortic pump for Ms. Lohan.  

 I may or may not have googled her address....

Anyway, I walked by her house, which was kind of cool but nothing extravagant.  I took a quick glance at the front of the place, didn't see so much as a red puebo hair, and decided to keep walking in order to retain some level of shame.

So instead of turning around, I decided just to walk down the back of her street, just because it made more sense then walking all the way back down the front.

And then, I saw her.  

Ahhh, the luck o' the Irish Jewish.

There she was, 50 feet ahead of me, with two assistants, carrying garment bags, loading them into "her" Audi SUV.

My knees gave out a little, not going to lie to you guys.

So I kept walking forward, even though I was pretty scared.  She's from long island yo.  Them bitches ain't afraid to start shit, especially with stalkers over zealous fans.  

When I got closer, I heard that raspy crack voice we all know and love so much, saying something along the lines of "Oh shit I forgot something inside".  I decided this was my window of opportunity.

So I basically screamed at her, "I'm a huge fan", which for some reason is my go-to when I meet a celebrity.  I think it's because I always get so excited I forget all the witty things I really want to say to them.  Damn you, social anxiety.

She didn't realize someone was talking to her at first, but her assistants looked at me like I was fucking Sasquatch.  When she realized what I had said, she gave me a "Oh, Thanks so much".  Slightly rude, but still, she does have a lot on her plate, and has been famous since she was like 5, so I get it.  Still, it was clear that I would not be asking for a photo, even though I really wanted too.  

I will say this, however....

She looks really hot in person.  Not like a crack head.  At all.

So yeah, in conclusion, I have no shame, met the first actress I fell in love with as a child, and am seriously debating becoming a paparazzo.  

Solid.

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